Monday, 26 October 2009

How To Have A HEALTHY FIGHT In A Relationship

Working as a psychologist in London, many men have confessed to me that they find it very difficult to cope with fighting with their girlfriend/wives. Most men do not like confrontation with their partners, but sometimes it is good to fight to bring issues to the surface. It is not healthy to suppress your feelings and to avoid negative issues in a relationship. It is important to understand that it's normal to fight in a couple, as long as you keep it kind and respectful when you argue. i.e. no calling each other names or purposely trying to be nasty to win the fight.
Some of my clients even confided that they would rather seek companionship from other women sometimes, i.e. London escorts, even just for a few hours to have a mental break from their current relationship without actually ending it. I can understand their needs and the reasons behind hiring London escorts for temporary companionship, but what is more important is to be open and honest with your partner and to communicate the underlying issues that are bothering you. Some great points below to have a healthy fighting attitude:

1. Be open minded and try to see things from different perspectives.
Sometimes people tend to get carried away with their argument. They are trying too hard to make a point and to get their opinions across, and often forget to listen. Do not cut each other off, it is very important to understand where your partner is coming from and what she has to say. Digest what she says and try to see things from her point of view. Forget about how you feel for a moment, and try to understand the situation rationally. This can also be a very good opportunity for the two of you to learn more about each other. Try to find a compromise as there is no need for anyone to 'win'.

2. Keep it impersonal and keep your voice down.
Things always sound worse when you raise your voice. Then the other person might get offended and become defensive. It is human natural reaction to defend ourselves in an argument, which may mask the real underlying issue. Do not point fingers and start the blame. It takes two to tangle; so as much as you think you are right, you are still half of the problem. Focus on the issues you are arguing about, and don't bring in personal problems or history into the fight to belittle your partner.

3. Always be respectful and kind.
Do not forget that you are fighting with someone you love. Sometimes we tend to hurt our loved ones the most as we tend to take things for granted. It is normal to have conflicting opinions and believes because everyone is different. Do not try to force your opinions on someone else. Be respectful and receptive to thoughts that are different to yours. You do not have to agree with them, but you don't have to throw a fight to try to change them.
Your London escorts may seem like an easy option as they do not fight with you, because you are not actually having a relationship with your London escorts. If you are in a relationship however, remember to keep your fights respectful and communicate openly, this is a long term solution to a healthier relationship.
To make up after a fight is very pleasant

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